By Baeth Davis
The Palm Pilot for the Soul of Your Business™
and Your Love & Money On Purpose Mentor
Consistently, when I use the word “selfish,” people correct me and say, “Oh, you mean self-nurturing, you mean self-caring.” Yes, and I mean SELFISH!
Who taught you it was ‘wrong’ to be selfish? Your parents? Your teachers? Your clergy?
“It is more blessed to give than receive.” Really?
Maybe you were told it was selfish to want to play with your own toys and not share. It was selfish to throw a temper tantrum. It was selfish to want to be successful and own beautiful things.
You know what? It still is selfish – and it needs to be.
I see so many articles about ‘giving back’ and being of service, but not many articles about the art of selfishness. In fact, the most successful people I know are the most selfish, and, paradoxically, the most truly giving, because they give not from guilt, obligation, shame or pressure, they give from their DESIRE to give.
Where do you fall along the selfish spectrum? Take this quiz and find out.
Selfishness Quiz
Instructions: Select either YES or NO for each question. See the description of where you stand at the end of the quiz.
- You work reasonable hours at your career, taking evenings and weekends off to rest, recharge and spend time with yourself and your loved ones. YES or NO
- You receive compliments easily by saying, “Thank you” with a smile and keeping your mouth quiet to bask in the good feelings of this gift. YES or NO
- You easily attract, save and invest money for your future financial security. YES or NO
- You easily spend money on things you truly desire – a beautifully appointed home, a comfortable car, education (books, seminars, courses, etc.), personal support (cook, nanny, housekeeper, etc.). YES or NO
- You give to charitable organizations that support causes that matter to you on a consistent basis. YES or NO
- You are debt-free or are on your way with a regular payment plan. YES or NO
- You take at least two vacations a year. (This can include a low-cost ‘stay-cation’ at home.) YES or NO
- You make time to do things that no one but you is in on. This could include a morning meditation ritual, ‘artist dates’ to the museum or movies, journaling for clarity or regular trips to the spa for relaxation and contemplation. YES or NO
- Sometimes, you buy something gorgeous and pricey RETAIL because it feels good to treat yourself as well as you treat your romantic partner, your child or your pet. YES or NO
- You make time to sleep 7 or more hours a night. YES or NO
- Your hair, nails and appearance are typically presentable and clean. YES or NO
- You ask your inner self for guidance. You listen to this guidance and consistently act upon it. YES or NO
- You give your full attention to everything and everyone, in the moment. You are present and alert in all situations. YES or NO
How did you do?
9 or more YES’s: You are a selfishness super star. You understand that in order to take care of others, you MUST take care of yourself. Self-care is not negotiable. It is a necessity. Chances are high that your life works for you – and the other people in it.
5 or more YES’s: You are developing your selfishness muscle but are cutting corners and possibly rationalizing why it’s okay to not get sufficient rest or it is okay to eat another box of cookies.
4 or less YES’s: You are a candidate for a selfishness makeover. Taking care of others probably feels good to you but can become a way for you to control situations with your giving. If you are always giving, you don’t have any space to feel ‘selfish’ receiving. Over-givers are notoriously poor receivers. You may be afraid of being called “selfish.” Go ahead, I dare you!
Here’s the deal: If you are an over-giver, you don’t teach the people around you to be self-sufficient and empowered. You cripple them and encourage dependence. Not only that, it can encourage demands, entitlement and insensitivity from others. You may end up feeling like a martyr because when does anyone do for you? Well, if you look like you don’t need any help (and you never ask), it’s unlikely anyone will notice.
Trust me, in a couple of weeks, months or years, if you stretch the selfishness muscle, you will attract more positive people into your life, attract support from your loved ones and improve your attitude, your health and your success.
“… stepping outside, she is free. She… we gave her most of our lives… is leaving… sacrificed most of our lives… home… we gave her everything money could buy… she’s living home after living alone for so many years…” – “She’s Leaving Home,” The Beatles, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
The Beatles had it right. You can’t buy love and over-giving won’t win you loyalty. It causes people to either become dependent on you or flee for their freedom.
If you’ve had your hands read and you are in either the School of Service or the School of Love, your relationship to selfishness is primary. For Service folks, it’s about discovering that you service God by doing what you truly love in the world and expressing this bliss in every step you take. It’s the consciousness you carry that matters more than what you are doing.
For Love folks, it’s about staying in touch with your own feelings so you can track your own needs and desires. If you stuff your feelings and put the needs of others before your own, you will become depressed, angry or a victim. Your feelings are your path to self-expression. Remember this.
Until we meet again, remember, it’s YOUR purpose – in YOUR hands!
P.S. At Gifted 2013, happening September 4, 5 and 6 in Phoenix, Arizona, our theme is: “Receiving is the bottom line.” If you want to increase prosperity in every area of your life, your ability to receive is primary.
So many women tell me they want financial independence and then in the next breath, they tell me they haven’t invoiced their clients for months, they undercharge or they are unable to ask for the sale. You may even be making good money, but you are bored, stuck or plateauing.
What is going on here? Chances are, there is a flaw in your internal receiving program. Let us help you reboot your system. You will leave this event with a simple plan for your 6- or 7-figure business or a simple plan for your personal life if business isn’t on your radar. We promise you – you have not experienced an event like this anywhere else.
Join us LIVE in Phoenix or from your home for the entire event Live VIDEO stream.
REGISTER HERE.
May 21-24, Hands On Purpose Master Mind [HOP] Group 2, Meeting #2, Los Angeles, CA
Find out more HERE.
June 12-14, Hand Analysis Level I Training (Fingerprint I.D.) – pre-requisite for year-long hand analysis training.
REGISTER HERE. ONLY 20 spots open.
July 9-12, Hands On Purpose Master Mind [HOP] Group 1, Meeting #3, Los Angeles, CA
August 9-12, Hands On Purpose Master Mind [HOP] Group 2, Meeting #3, Los Angeles, CA
Sept. 4, 5, 6, Gifted 2013: Love & Money On Purpose “RECEIVING is the Bottom Line!” Phoenix, AZ REGISTER NOW and SAVE up to $1700!!! (Already 1/3 SOLD OUT – don’t delay and register now.)
Oct. 22-25, Hands On Purpose Master Mind [HOP] Group 1, Meeting #4, Los Angeles, CA
Nov. 12-15, Hands On Purpose Master Mind [HOP] Group 2, Meeting #4, Los Angeles, CA
“Hello, Beautiful Mentors,
I want to express my immense gratitude to you for the time I spent with you in Miami at your private retreat. So many wonderful things have been said about the way you three showed up, the content you offered, and the support and guidance you provided. I met 23 absolutely amazing women who are now already enriching my life.
What I want to share with you now is what has happened to me in the 10 short days since I have been home. The hot seat coaching I received from you was not what I expected and very much what I was asking for. Isn’t that how it always is? You all three had the ability to really get in there deep with me while I was still skimming the surface looking for answers that weren’t coming. It was brave to go where you went, and I appreciate it so much. It was such old stuff that I honestly was not seeing it and didn’t realize the impact it was truly having on me.
After my hot seat the first day, I started getting very stuffy in the head, my eyes and nose running continuously, my throat raw and aching, and I sensed that it was a lot of releasing. I could feel a lot of body sensations that I knew were related to the changes that were going on inside of me from that deep work.
When I got home, I got sick, and I want you to know that I rarely ever get sick anymore, so I knew I needed to do what you told me and go within, stop pushing everything out into the world, stop struggling, and really love myself. And I did. I was still and quiet and nurturing to myself for a week. I kept remembering to be gentle and loving with myself and to give myself some space, and I felt the pushing out slow down, and then the receiving began to come in. And in only one week, so many things that I have been really really asking for have started coming in.
First, clients started showing up, and really great clients. And opportunities started showing up that could not have shown up until I stepped into Being the person to be able to receive them. Some truly incredible opportunities showed up this week, not just one, but two huge ones, that brought me the possibility of things I have been wanting. This is the stuff that I really wanted, deep down, and started asking for.
While in Miami, I started getting more in touch with that and did some talking to God about these things, and it’s like, here they are, you are ready to receive them? I am trying to put into words that this is not just the business I am running right now and the things I have been bringing in but the things my heart truly desires. Wow. And it came in so easily. I know I experienced huge shifts in Miami, and this is more validation of that. People I don’t know at all suddenly reached out to me, holding what I have been asking for in their hands.
I am so full of joy and love and good feelings, and that is not how I showed up in Miami.
I am very excited about sponsoring Gifted this year and am keeping that commitment that I made to myself last year. And, thanks to your generosity, I am bringing some wonderful new people to share you with. It’s going to be a great time, because of this, and even greater because I am going to be coming back together with so many of my Spirit Sisters from Miami.
Thank you each for being a Spiritual Teacher in the Spotlight and giving me permission to be who I am, reminding me who I am, and reflecting back to me who I am, and thank you for showing me how to Shine more brightly. I honor you for what you have given me, and I wish for you all the blessings you desire.
Thank you.
With All My Love and Wishing You Absolute Joy!”
Michelle Barr
TheArtOfTakingAction.com
I KNOW you’re busy, but if we don’t make time to care for ourselves, we age, get fat, look old, we have no energy… and worst of all, we get sick.
I want to be sure you get all of the valuable info from my friend, New York Times bestselling author JJ Virgin’s “7 Days with 7 Celebrity Docs” webinar series, so I’ve asked JJ to make the replays available to you for TWO days.
I KNOW you’re busy, but don’t let ‘busy’ run your life. It’s all here and at no cost.
The TOP leaders to help you create SOME priority around looking great, weighing less, having energy, and aging well…
So what’s stopping you? Today, do ONE thing good for you and just sign up for the interviews. You may learn enough to change your life.
Who are the Docs??
PS: Pay it forward and share this with someone you love and change THEIR life.